In the end... Does it really matter.

So this week I am in Kingaroy for work. I like work trips. It lets me have some time to think. I guess this time, I wasn't ready to think. It's the Same thing. All the time. Tonight, I was tired. I had turned off the light and then boom... My fucking head decides now is the time to have a deep and meaningful with myself. I think way too much. I start counciling soon so that will be a good way to learn how to deal with letting go. I wrote tonight. Well, actually... I wrote just then. It just seemed to flow. They don't just flow anymore. They are normally hard work.

It's only when the lights go down I'm lonely,

Anxiety the biggest cause of this.

Just as I'm about to meet my slumber,

I start to think of all the things I miss.

The number one would be my one and only,

But everyday she's further from my clutch.

To wear my wedding ring again, if only...

To ask for this it truly is too much.

I've tried a thousand different ways to fix this, 

But knew the only answer all along.

I'm selfish having tried to get what I miss,

To you these thousand ways have all been wrong.

It's been over a year since life was better,

The hardest days I'm sure I'll ever live.

I've learnt that I have changed since I have met her,

Too late to prove I've better things to give.

I'm not exactly sure if she still reads my blog, or if anyone does for that matter. But writing it down helps. Not much else does at the moment.

until next time,

Sleep well.

Average dad.

Some days, it just feels great to get home.

So... Life has been very up and down lately. More down then up it seems. I spend most days thinking about the huge mistake I made and how I can make it better but I know that I can make it better by doing nothing at all. Just leave life to its course. Easier said then done... Hahaha. Today just seemed like one of those days that didn't want to end but as everything does eventually, it did. Had a great play with the kids at the park yesterday even though it wasn't my weekend. It makes you smile knowing they are having fun.

Lately I have met some great musicians who I hope to collaborate with in the not so distant future. I miss music so much. I miss being that guy on the stage that belts out the tunes. Might have to move music a bit higher up on the list.

I'll share some more lyrics over the next week, just have to find the song book. I think I know where it is, just hope it's still in one piece.

Until next time, take it easy.

 average dad